My Awkward Glasses

First of all, please go here and read about why May is going to be the best month ever. It nearly made me scream-laugh alone in my office yesterday.

This picture of the bird just dying for the chocolate fountain totally reminded me of myself when I used to work at Dairy Queen in high school…

I once stuck my face under the soft serve machine and went to town on that cold and creamy deliciousness, and my expression probably looked similar to that bird’s. I gave myself the worst brain freeze of my life, so had to counteract by sticking my face under the hot fudge pump. I promise you I’m not lying.

I miss working at Dairy Queen. My pants do not (gained a LOT of weight, as I ate at least one Blizzard a day, and would also sneak into the freezer and eat copious amounts of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and cookie dough).

Anyway, time to get focused.

(source)

I hope you came here today hoping to see a bunch of pictures of me as a child, because that’s what you’re getting. This post really has no point and is just an excuse for me to showcase some pics. I am just warning you. But I actually love it when other bloggers post pictures of themselves as children (and also when my friends do this on Facebook), so hopefully someone will enjoy it.

While going through my old boxes, I found a TON of old pictures of myself. Just a ton. It is clear my parents loved me. And it definitely reminded me that I went through some awkward stages.

I think I was pretty cute as a young kid…

(I love the couple in the background. That woman is a stock photo straight from the 80s).

I enjoyed playing on rock beaches, as well as camping (still love camping), and catching frogs…

I also liked to twirl with my umbrella in really attractive shorts…

And of course I loved nothing more than when my picture at the dentist made it onto the “no cavity wall” in the waiting room…

I felt famous, and so accomplished!

(I still try to convince my dentist to take a picture of me for the no cavity wall, but alas, I am old now. He never goes for it.)

But then I got to kindergarten and it was discovered that I needed glasses… And my look, ah, changed a little bit…

(My buck teeth were later saved by braces… And I see that I also have a nice borderline mullet.)

The glasses definitely kick-started my awkward and nerdy phase. Which lasted until high school (fine, lasted until today…).

Please note those glasses are not as thick as they look. They just have big frames. It is deceiving.

Seriously, just big frames. They are actually Fisher-Price glasses (though they are not toy glasses, it should be noted). I felt so cool and grown-up when I got them, because they came with glasses cleaner, and in their very own case. This made me excited.

In the above photo, I am at a funeral, which I am clearly very upset about. I can’t even remember whose funeral it was… And actually, all I can remember about that funeral is how good the food was! I’m not kidding, I remember there were a ton of delicious mini sandwiches, and I couldn’t stop eating them! I can’t help but associate funerals with delicious food and mini sandwiches now because of this. It is a problem, as I have to make a conscious effort to hide my excitement when I hear about a funeral (I’m semi kidding, don’t hate me).

In high school, my friend Emily gave me a beautiful photo of myself for my birthday to remind me of my childhood attractiveness.

(I was a very trendy dresser also.)

So thoughtful. Emily made the frame out of Trident wrappers, to commemorate my closet door. I decided it would be a good idea to glue Trident wrappers to it because I thought it looked boring and wanted to spice it up a little bit. My parents were big fans of the idea (I lie. I didn’t ask them permission, and they were not happy about it afterwards. But too late!)

That is my little brother Eric with my Trident door. I think it turned out pretty well. I eventually shellacked it.

Anyway, I really don’t have much else to say. I just wanted to share a bunch of pictures with you from when I was young and supremely cool.

Don’t forget supremely cool.

Still a little bit cute though, I think…

My next awkward phase was when I ditched the glasses in high school, and suddenly started to look like Taylor Hanson. Everyone called me Tay…

Fun times.

I know everyone has had an awkward phase, so what were yours? Bowl cuts, huge glasses, overall shorts? Tell me yo’ stories.

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27 responses to “My Awkward Glasses

  1. Melanie Wood

    Haha love this post! You were the cutest kid ever! especially with those glasses! That’s a pretty impressive trident door…must have taken you forever to put up all of those wrappers! I was always wearing overall shorts as an 80s kid…I think we all had our awkward moments!

  2. Food at funerals orr anywhere right

  3. I had bifocals when I was 12 and my mom never let me cut my hair. I had a 4-foot long braid about as thick as dental floss. Beat that.

  4. Bowl cut? Yes. Giant glasses? Check. Overall shorts? Most definitely! By the way, I think the resemblance to Taylor Hanson is more his problem than your’s.

  5. hahah I had awful glasses for a while..big round ones, and then i also insisted on wearing stirrup pants with baggy sweatshirts- or swish pant suits…oy

  6. I’ve had bifocal since I was 2… long before they made them no-line. I have red hair. I have freckles. I had braces. I tried to perm my hair, resulting in a ‘fro. I was the epitome of awkward 😉 I might post pics, too, now that you gave me the idea. If I can handle the embarassment… (and figure out how to work my stupid scanner…)

  7. bahahaha love it! That Trident door is so cool, and that May post made my day. My awkward stages were a lot like yours- big, huge framed glasses (love my contacts now!), and awkward clothing styles. I also had a unibrow that I needed to tame (not joking). Thankfully my teeth have always been pretty good, but I also struggled with AWFUL acne. Oy. So many awkward stages, so little time. Remember when tear-aways were cool? What was I thinking?

  8. You missed out on the braces and glasses combination phase?! Plus hair that was partway halfway between curly frizz, afro and cousin. Rite of passage I say!

    Those round glasses are pretty baller.

  9. Such cute photos! I worked at Ben and Jerry’s in high school and seriously gained 10 pounds in like a month from eating so much ice cream! My awkward phase last from 13-17…ha!

  10. * ‘cousin it’.

    Dear god someone get me a coffee, I am clearly not awake yet.

  11. I was just looking at a snapfish book my mother made for my brother and me. Our childhood pics in the 70s are adorable (and I love our clothes and the decor…). Once the 80s come, it all goes wrong…yep the big glasses, the big glasses I got tinted pink, the perm that just came out frizzy.
    Love the trident frame.

  12. You are so cute and geeky! I love the glasses. I too, was geeky but in my own special way.
    Pretty cool with the trident wrapper door. You are so creative and even were then.
    I totally always wanted to be on the no cavities wall. I have to say I made it once or twice. Just sayin’. Not bragging. Well, I kinda am.
    Hope WSS was great!

  13. I totally was. So jealous you made it on the wall until you were in your 20s!!
    Fun! But glad it wasn’t the same. I missed it!

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