Hello Wonderland (aka the day I almost died)

Sunday morning after the big prom fest, I headed to Canada’s Wonderland (which is a Canadian theme park similar to a Six Flags) with my good friends Sherrie and Lisa and a few of their guy friends. And I am just going to go ahead and consider those guys my friends now, as we had a major bonding experience that I will get to in a moment.

Let’s talk about the fun times first.

I love theme parks, and I LOVE roller coasters, so I was pretty much vibrating with excitement. It was also a gorgeous day. So warm and sunny and beautiful. And usually Canada’s Wonderland is absolutely rammed with people and you spend half the day in lineups, but for some reason it was the most empty I’ve ever seen it. Really short lines, and to put that into perspective for my fellow Ontarians, we went on the Behemoth several times in a row and barely waited at all. Usually you have to wait for a million years, as it the best roller coaster in the world (IMHO).

I could not get enough of the Behemoth. I told the group that I wanted to live on it.

Sherrie and I are actually making fun of Lisa in this picture (which I totally snapped on my iPhone all sneakily when it displayed on the screen, as I am cheap and not about to spend $20 for a photo). We were watching Lis in front of us, and she was a tiiiny bit on the scared side and was having some trouble lifting her arms up. She would lift them about halfway up and then bring them back down. I believe I am imitating her while Sherrie points at her (laughing, it was funny). Lisa was an old pro by about the sixth time we went on it though, and had her arms up the entire time.

We also went on the newest roller coaster, Leviathan, a bunch of times and it has a pretty crazy drop (over 300 feet, I googled) that I enjoyed…

It was a good time, but Behemoth is still my fave. It’s long, and has a ton of awesome drops.

You know what new ride I did not enjoy?

The WindSeeker. Did. Not. Enjoy.

It sounds like it would be a fun time. You sit in two’s on these swing-type seats, and it goes over 300 feet in the air, spins around for a bit, and then brings you back down. Fun fun. And besides the height, nothing crazy. We made friends with one of the ride operators (his name was Jude, so we obviously serenaded a little bit o’ Beatles to him), and he told us the ride was nice and relaxing (Hey, Jude, if you happen to read this, and if I ever see you again, I’m kicking you square in the junk).

So we were game for a nice relaxing ride on the WindSeeker. We saddled up on the swings, and Lisa was my ride buddy. I don’t mind heights, but she is not the biggest fan of them, and was therefore not the biggest fan of the WindSeeker as we neared the top. But I was all “Don’t worry, it’s almost over,” and she seemed to almost be enjoying herself.

But then we got to the top, and the ride kind of jolted, and then it kind of stopped. At the very top. It stopped.

At first we thought it was a joke. I’ve been going to Wonderland for 23 years (I am old) and I have never once been stuck on a ride. But then we heard a muffled “We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. We apologize for the inconvenience. We will attempt to lower you down when possible.”

Attempt to lower you down.

So this was not good news. A girl sitting behind Sherrie started legit crying, and Lisa was already not enjoying herself, so this did not help. I was terrified (and I’m not even afraid of heights, so I can’t imagine what that must have been like), but I felt like I had to be strong for Lisa, and I tried to reassure her (until she told me to shut up, I was making it worse).

20 minutes later they were able to start slooooooowly lowering us down (took another 15 minutes or so). By this time, several people were basically having panic attacks. Lisa had been gripping our lap bar so tightly that her hands were all white and sweaty. She held her dripping hand out to me and was all “look how sweaty my hand is!” and I immediately grabbed it and held it as tightly as I could the entire way down (just to reassure her, not like I was scared or anything…)

But we made it! We are alive! And I will never be going on that ride again. Stupid WindSeeker. Stupid Jude.

(And I am just kidding Jude, I still like you!)

Aside from our near-death experience though, the day was amazing.

We took some scenic girls pics, as Wonderland is quite pretty…

And I ate my traditional Wonderland food that I MUST get every time I go.


And funnel cake:

Funnel cake is an absolute must. Gahh, I just love it so much.

Oh and I’ve decided to forgo my new apartment and take up residence here instead:

I may be 400 pounds, but it may be worth it.

Just a perfect day at Wonderland (minus that nearly dying thing…)

And have any of you ever been stuck on a ride?


43 responses to “Hello Wonderland (aka the day I almost died)

  1. This is so horrible! Oh my gosh, I would have lost it. I’m actually feeling a bit panicy while sitting safely at my desk imagining it. A gaggy. I’m panicy and gaggy. I am glad you survived.

  2. WordPress just told me that I was posting comments too quickly. It told me to “slow down.” Wheee! Quick Commenter for #1 spot. And #2….and #3. Okay, so maybe this isn’t cool anymore? Is this getting weird?

  3. AHHHH I would have actually peed my pants, I love rides but worst fear is getting stuck or getting injured on one.

  4. Here is how I would have handled the ride situation: cried, screamed, called everyone I know for help, call my mom to tell her where my Will is, begged anyone anywhere to please charter a helicopter to rescue me (‘cept I’m also claustraphobic, so…), hyperventilated, passed out, and then I would have gone back in time to NEVER GO ON THAT RIDE EVER.

  5. And that is why I don’t do rides. Well, most rides. I do water rides. If something goes wrong, I’ll drown, but at least it won’t be a slow drawn out process.

    Are you renting out rooms at the Cookie Cafe?

  6. The ride chart made me LOL.
    Besides being terrified, I just remember thinking “man, it sucks for Lindsey to be stuck with me. I am not a good person to be stuck with!”
    I will forever cherish the sweaty hand-holding though.
    Also, glad I was able to provide so much entertainment on Behemoth, hahaha. You entertained me on Minebuster, so we’re even. 😉

  7. OMG! i love roller coasters and theme parks but i would soooo not be happy if i got stuck!

  8. Did they give you free passes? Cedar point has a very good history of safe and well maintained rides. Just throwing that out there

  9. Eek. I don’t have a fear of heights, but I think that would scare the crap out of me too! Glad you didn’t splatter all over Jude. And would you believe that I’ve never eaten funnel cake before? I need to eat funnel cake. Next time I’m in Toronto, maybe I’ll have to go to Canada’s Wonderland…haven’t been there since I was 14 years old!

    • Nope, we didn’t mess up Jude’s attractive ride operating outfit by splattering on him, so he is lucky.
      You NEED to eat funnel cake. You have not LIVED until you have funnel cake. It is amazing. And if you go to Wonderland and need a ride buddy, I am always free!

      • You wouldn’t want to go to Wonderland with me. I hate rides. They make me throw up. I’d just stand at the bottom and eat funnel cakes and watch the roller coasters. Ha!

  10. those roller coasters look like SO MUCH FUN! I love roller coasters like nobody’s business. That deathseeker…not so much. I hate rides that spin anyway b/c I get to dizzy…but I don’t mind dropping 300 feet straight down on a roller coaster? No idea. Anywho I’m totes glad that you lived to blog about it b/c if you wouldn’t have we wouldnt get to see the awesome funnel cake. And what the heck is poutine? I’m sorry but it does not look good at all! LOL. What is it!

    • I hate spin rides too! My group called me a pussy because I had to pass on anything spinny…makes me so dizzy. One time I was at a fair and the teacups made me puke. I have no tolerance for them. But I love that feeling of dropping so much!

      Ohh girrrrrrrl, you need to try poutine. I always forget that it is apparently a Canadian thing. It is fries covered in cheese curds and gravy. It is pure deliciousness. Doesn’t look good…pffft.

  11. omg, I was sweating just reading that! I am terrified of heights! I couldn’t imagine being stuck up there.

    I had a similar experience when I was 15 y/o in what was called “The Ring of Fire” (horrible name for an amusement park ride, but whatevs). It was just a big roller coaster that went around in a circle. I didn’t realize it would hang upside down. And I didn’t realize there were no belts, just those fucking useless bars (pardon my French). They kept hanging us upside down and I was screaming and holding onto anything I could grab for dear life. If I wasn’t holding on, I swear I would have fallen out and died. I do not do upside down thingers anymore.

    • What?! That is so much worse! I would not have been able to handle being upside down, that’s terrifying! I think the French was warranted in this case. Yowza.
      I actually prefer the rides that don’t go upside down, and just have big drops. I’m not a big fan of the restraints that come down over your shoulders…and neither are my nungas.

  12. Never stuck on a ride but that is a huge fear of mine! We go to amusement parks a lot. Scary stuff!

  13. Whaaaat the heck is poutine? Fries with some craziness on them?

    I probably would have liked being stuck on that ride for the view alone. Plus, I would have snapped a pic of the crying girl because I’m mean like that.

    I’ve gotten stuck on TONS of rides. And they were all at Great America in Chicago since I basically lived there every summer. I got stuck on a log ride once at the top of it. Which would have been fine if the water didn’t completely drain out and it was 90 degrees out. Came out of that one with a sunburn at a tender young age. Thank you Great America for my future cancer.

  14. Because of the way those Acadians tend to take over your culture, here in New Orleans we have poutine, too. Sometimes I eat it. Then I wish I could give back the 4 grams of sodium I just consumed.

  15. That is traumatizing. Last time I went to Wonderland was the year Wind Seeker opened and it was always closed because of high wind or something.

    I once got stuck on a ride at Wonderland – the Zombie log ride which isn’t there anymore (it was where Top Gun is now). Probably my earliest memory of Wonderland – I was probably 4 at the time and this was around 1984 or so. We got stuck going up in the log on the last big hill and I had to be carried down by a ride operator.

  16. I like you so, so much. I have a lot of reading to do here!

  17. 1. I got stuck on the flying swings as a kid… same as the ride you got stuck on, but much lower to the ground. I still remember the swings sort of dropping and crashing into each other and all of the parents yelling from the ground. Not fun 😦
    2. Thanks for the blog roll! I just read through the belly button story and choked on the grape I was eating because I laughed so hard at the ending.
    3. Your blog is totally one of those blogs that I recently found, fell in love with, and started greedily reading at a fast pace from the beginning. You seem like the nicest, most fun person ever!

  18. Pingback: No Routine? Eat All The Things! | Happy or Hungry

  19. I randomly came across your blog while googling canadas wonderland. I’ve been three times this year. So much fun! Omg I cannot believe you got trapped on that ride! I totally agree with you that it is the worst ride ever! I’ve been on it twice, not sure how I was convinced the second time, and I felt like I was gonna die. Luckily I didn’t get stuck like you did. I think it might very well be the scariest ride in the park.

  20. That is a good tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere.

    Brief but very accurate information… Thanks for sharing this one.
    A must read article!

  21. Lol sounds like a great time, Windseeker included… To me, the most fun is in the belief that things could go wrong; guess you could say I’m an adrenaline junkie but I envy your experience on Windseeker.

  22. The only thing that happened to WindSeeker at Cedar Point is it closed for high winds.

  23. once when i was walking with my dad at Canada’s wonderland we saw the ride your talking about and wanted to go on but it was closes so my dad asked why, so the worker said sometimes they need to shut it down because the wind will make it dangerous for the riders when its windy.So maybe that’s why they stopped it

  24. Uhhhhh sooo does not sound like you almost does. It sounds like the right was just stuck. Safety bars and the right falling over sure yeah you’re dead. Ride stopping and being stuck, not so much. you should be carful about what you say.

  25. Official canada"s Wonderland

    hello We want to apologies for your wind seeker ride
    and that windseeker at canada’s wonderland is now problem free
    we assure you that your ride was stopped for the safety of the guests boarded. it was not a planned mistake: the power had bumped then causing the ride to stop

    sorry Canada’s Wonderland

  26. Great post thanks for sharing. I’ve always questioned the swing rides, and I read that all but one Windseeker rides have malfunctioned at some point.
    I read that a rescue cage has since been installed on all Windseeker rides in case of malfunction.

    With research I’ve learned many rides malfunction, if there is any doubt don’t go on it and research it for the next visit. Windseekers seem to be for the true thrill-seeker who might enjoy the possibility of mechanical failure, not for me. What you should research is the ride manufacturer reputation. This is how I learned Behemoth and Leviathan are the best and safest, credit Bolliger & Mabillard.

    The comment above, posted by Official canada”s Wonderland(notice a quotation instead of an apostrophe and a small c for Canada) seems anything but official as I’m sure you already noticed, lame.

    Lastly, Canada’s Wonderland has one of the safest track records of all theme parks worldwide. Missing out on a couple swing rides is no big deal.

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