Things I’ve Noticed Living in the City

Alright, so I’ve lived in the city for about two weeks now, and of course that obviously does not make me an expert on city living at all. But it does mean that I’ve spent a bit of time here now and I’ve noticed a few things. I would like to share those things with you

1. I am lock inept.

Fine, this is more of a new apartment thing than a city thing, but I suck at opening my apartment door. The key does not turn easily, and I have to jiggle it around in there to get it to unlock. I don’t know if this is a lock thing or a me thing, but I’m going to go with the latter. I probably just suck.

I know, Linnie.

I am used to just using my garage door keypad to get in my house, which has left me not very key savvy. I’ve kind of always struggled with keys, to be honest. It is very embarrassing when I am struggling to open my door for five minutes and someone is waiting for the elevator beside me. I absolutely look like a tool. So usually I pretend to search for something in my bag until they leave so as to not look like a total idiot who doesn’t know how to open a door. It’s been working out so far.

2. Random people on the street will sometimes be very angry for no reason.

I kind of already knew this. Back in April I was meeting a friend downtown and I was walking by myself, and a homeless woman was walking toward me. I smiled at her, but I guess my smile can also be translated to “I hate you” because she screamed “Yerrrrrrrrrr UGLY!” at me. She then continued her random rant with “Ya stupid blonde B*TCH!” and proceeded to lunge towards me.

Two men had to grab her from either side and drag her away from me. I thought she might actually punch me in the face. She was not a nice woman, I will just say.

And a few nights ago I was with my friends Hannah and Lisa, and we were walking along the sidewalk. We were apparently on the wrong side of the sidewalk, and this angry, angry man came out of nowhere and yelled “GIT over there!” at us, while grabbing Lisa by the shoulders and shoving her to the other side.

I thought he was joking, so I may have laughed kind of in his face… But no no, he was not. He then called us basically every swear word possible before waddling away all angrily.

I truly didn’t know there was a right side to the sidewalk. I notice that most people just walk in the middle of it anyway. Perhaps I shall start yelling at them. Seriously, what does screaming at a stranger accomplish besides making yourself look like an idiot? I don’t understand how people can be so angry. It’s so unnecessary. They’re going to give themselves a heart attack with all their anger.

Chef Ramsay, I am looking directly at you when I say that.

3. I now walk everywhere.

Speaking of walking, I have been walking everywhere! It’s so easy to get to places. When I lived in the ‘burbs, I would rountinely drive to the store around the corner from my house, which was probably faster to walk to with the shortcut. Lazypants. But now I will walk a kilometre and a half to go to the drugstore, or to pick up food.

This is mainly because driving in the city is busy and annoying, and parking is not fun at all. But hey, walking is good.

4. If I do drive, I pick the wrong time and the wrong street.

When I do decide to drive instead of walking or taking transit, apparently I pick the worst time ever and the busiest street. I drove down St. Clair yesterday after Italy won, and it was a bad idea. Impromptu street parties everywhere, and everyone was screaming, and all I could hear was constant horn honking.

When I am driving, horn honking causes me instant anxiety. I immediately assume the person is honking at me and I am about to hit someone or I missed an advanced green or something (although I never miss an advanced green, I LIVE for advanced greens).

Also, everyone had flags.

(not my picture, but that is basically what it looked like)

I think I may have been the only person who did not have a flag.

Thanks a lot for winning, Italy. Worst traffic of my life. It was okay though, it was funny to watch.

5. Subway > Buses

Even though I had a bad experience on the subway, I still looove the subway. People-watching on the subway may be my new favourite thing. Plus it’s on a track, and I know the route, so I can’t get lost.

But buses…I am not a fan of buses. I fear I will get lost.

It’s an irrational fear of getting lost, for sure. But I am afraid I’m going to get on the wrong bus and end up in the middle of nowhere, and then the bus will leave and I won’t be able to get home. I’ve felt like this my entire life, and have actually had nightmares about it.

It is my mission this summer to get over my bus fear.

Well, that is it for now, but it’s only been two weeks, so I’m sure I’ll be learning a lot more! But not today my good friends, I am currently on a plane out west for 10 days of mountain and Calgary Stampede adventures! Gird your loins for a ton of scenic and beautiful pictures!

And maybe pictures of cowboys too.

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16 responses to “Things I’ve Noticed Living in the City

  1. You have a bad lock. You’re not a lock moron. Some locks work smoothly, and others just don’t. Actually, you may have a bad key and your lock is fine. you might even benefit from a little lubrication in the ol’ keyhole (not a euphemism). I was having a hell of a time with some locks in my house and I took a can of WD-40 around to each of them and sprayed some in and worked the mechanism around and it made a huge difference.

    I grew up on Montana. My sister, who was always the free spirit, moved to LA. When I was 12 I visited her there. I walked to a mall while she was at work one day and passed someone on the sidewalk. In Montana when you do that you give a little head nod and a howdy. The look this man gave me, a 12 year old boy walking to the mall, was one of shock and incredulity. . . what the fuck is wrong with this kid that he’s saying, “howdy” to me???

    City folk.

    • Okay, good to know! I am going to have to pick up some WD-40 and lube up my keyhole.
      I think everyone in the world should nod and say howdy to anyone they pass on the street. I am going to start doing that in Toronto. I’ll let you know how that goes.

      • blogginglily

        I think it’s differently for gawky 12 year old boys than it is for attractive female 20 somethings. I imagine it’s as they say on TV. . . “results may vary”.

  2. in. . . i grew up IN Montana. Stupid.

  3. I have lock issues as well. It’s a handicap really.

    Those angry people are scaring me.

  4. Have a wonderful trip and I look forward to cowboys and scenery!

  5. I love the subway and hate the bus. The bus is nerve-wracking. It doesn’t have that calming dinging sound and a zen voice announcing the stops (that also happen to be clearly printed in giant letters on the walls of the subway stations). Buses are very stressful for the directionally challenged. My brother lives near St. Clair…I am very well-versed with the honking shouting flag people.

  6. I love those Home Alone pictures! I was obsessed with that movie when I was 6-7 years old. I’m sure I’ve seen it upwards of 15 times.

  7. Locks – keeping homeowners out of their house since 460 BC.

  8. I have the bus fear, too! I want to try riding it to work, but I always think I will somehow end up on the other end of the valley all alone. Or that I will get on and not know where to put my token/cash/whatever and be kicked off. Yikes!

  9. HA! I love the Home Alone references. That is one my all time favorite movies. I HAVE to watch it every Christmas time. 🙂

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