The Time JTT Called Me (only he didn’t)

When I was in the sixth grade, I loved Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

Honestly, I thought we were probably going to get married. I watched him every week on Home Improvement, repeatedly on Man of the House, listened to his sultry voice over and over again in the Lion King, and wished SO hard that I was Rachael Leigh Cook so that I could kiss him in Tom and Huck.

I had all of the JTT posters from BOP, and Tiger Beat and SuperTeen, and 16 and Teen Magazine plastered on the walls in my room so that it was basically a JTT shrine, and I would fantasize about meeting him.

Had this exact poster actually. Framed. Right beside my bed.

In my fantasies, I was always a professional figure skater like Kristi Yamagouchi, only I looked like Topanga from Boy Meets World because I thought she was sooooo beautiful.

I am comfortable with who I am now, but in Grade 6 I looked like this:

And I thought Topanga was way, way more cool. So, that was who I looked like.

In my fantasies, I (Topanga) would be nonchalantly figure skating in my hometown arena, also known as the world’s smallest arena (seriously, it was tiny, and the slogan was “It may be small, but it’s paid for!” and it was written on the wall). I would just be being all superstar on the ice, and all of a sudden JTT would show up and be watching me in awe from the sidelines. He would say “I NEED to know this girl! She is so awesome!” And he would just be mesmorized by sweet skating skills and want to be my boyfriend.

I wrote JTT numerous letters. Numerous. Like I cannot count how many (well, I think three). I would write to him and tell him about me, only alter myself jussssst slightly, because I had read in magazines about him so I knew what to say. JTT was a vegetarian, so I would write “I am SUCH a vegetarian. I cannot STAND meat. I just love tofu,” even though the only time I was remotely vegetarian was when my parents cooked tacos and I would loudly proclaim I was a vegetarian because I was going to try my third taco without beef.

And I would rave on in my letters about how much I looooooved fly-fishing, because I had heard that he loved fly-fishing, so I thought this would give us something in common. It wasn’t a total lie. I grew up on a lake, so I did genuinely love fishing, and my mom was an absolute pro star fisher. But I had never tried fly fishing, though I figured it couldn’t really be all that different from regular fishing. I thought I could go with it.

Basically whatever I had in common, or could possibly have in common, with JTT, I would rave on about it in my letters. I sent him my phone number, and I emphasized that I was single. I would send him pictures of me holding my cats. I remember this one picture I sent to him of me holding my cats (Winnie! It was Winnie and her brother!) and I looked HORRIBLE in it. I had the biggest double chin of all time, and I was wearing my super cool Northern Reflections sweater, and my one-and-a-half-year-old brother Eric was in it and had slobber all down his face and all over his onesie.

Well here, I’ll show you.

So it was not an attractive photo of myself. But my cats looked damn cute and Eric looked insanely happy. So meh, I sent it anyway. Sometimes I wonder if I ruined my chances with him because of this picture.

I once even sent him a gold chain that was just randomly in my room. A GOLD. CHAIN. Even though he was far more rich than I was, I sent him this just to show my love for him. Dumb.

So I loved JTT. I believe I have set the stage here.

My neighbour Scott (who was the same age as me) was over one day, and I may have let it slip to him about how much I loved JTT and how I thought we were going to get married. I told him how I wrote him all these letters and he never responded to me, and how I was so upset about this.

And about a week later I got a letter in the mail. It was from JTT.

JTT did not have the best spelling or grammar, but I loved him so I was willing to look past this (I cannot look past this now). And when I look back on this now, JTT did not really say very much at all, but he did say that he thought I was beautiful, that he would love to be my boyfriend, and that he was going to call me. And that was all that mattered to me.

JTT was going to call me. I did not question this very much at all because I SO WANTED to believe it was true. JTT wanted to be my boyfriend? Um, yes. Yes, yes and thrice yes. Yes please. Say no more. I could die happy.

I showed the letter to all my friends. Like “Look! Look at this! JTT likes me and wants to be my boyfriend!” And of course my friends were slightly skeptical, but I believed it was him so badly that I was pretty convincing. I was all “how else could I get this?!” and it was typed and printed, and I didn’t have a computer at the time so I told them I obviously couldn’t have written it. And my friends believed me.

I was so proud of that letter. I kept it with me at all times and raved on about it to anyone who would listen. Any time someone was talking to me I would be thinking in my head “But I am more important. I am friends with JTT. He wants to be my boyfriend.”

And then, a week or so after I got the letter, I got a phone call. From a young male who asked for me and identified himself as JTT. I nearly melted.

Now please note, this was before call display, and even before star 69, so I couldn’t check up on this.

I don’t even know what I said to him except for “blaaaaaarrrrg,” because I was so nervous. JTT liked me so much that he sent me a letter saying he wanted to be my boyfriend, and now he was calling me! It was the absolutely best day of my life up to that point. I don’t know if I have ever been so excited even to this day.

So JTT and I had a nice conversation, and I asked him about fly-fishing and being a vegetarian. And he answered. And I ate it up. I ate it alllllll up. I felt like I was living in a dream. Except I was no longer Topanga. I was me, with my double-chin and my super cute kitties and my idiot little brother. And JTT liked it. I cannot even explain to you the joy I felt. You better believe I told all my friends. I went on and on about it for at least a week.

And then things started to feel weird. My neighbour Scott came over one day and he somehow knew about the phone call, even though I never told him about it. He asked me about it, and he asked about it in a weird way that suggested he knew what we talked about. So I questioned him. And he said that JTT was his cousin and had told him.

Wait wait. JTT was his COUSIN?!

At first I believed this, but as he talked about it more, things were not adding up in my head and Scott seemed like he was shady.

I didn’t want to believe it wasn’t real, and I didn’t want to question JTT, but in the end I had no choice. I questioned. And JTT turned out to be Scott. Scott was the one who had written me that letter, and Scott was the one who called me. Scott was a Dbag.

I was devastated. And so embarrassed. Just so ridiculously embarrassed. I had to tell all my friends that JTT had in fact never written me back, and never called me, and it was Scott all along. All my fantasies were crushed.

JTT was never the same in my eyes, and I took all my posters down and moved on to liking Devon Sawa.

It took years for me to live down the JTT situation, and my friends from elementary school STILL bring it up.

They’re all “Hey, remember the time you thought JTT wrote you that letter and called you?” Of course I remember, idiots. Do you know what it is like to have a dream so vividly in front of you and then be snatched away by your stupid neighbour?

My only consolation about this whole thing is that JTT didn’t age well. Not at all.

He did not make it out onto the other side of puberty okay. So…I feel like in the long run I am better off.

And hey JTT, if you ever read this I have one thing to say to you. I want my gold chain back.

Advertisements

36 responses to “The Time JTT Called Me (only he didn’t)

  1. Soooo…did Scott have a bit of a crush on you? Cause that’s what it sounds like to me.

    I was never into JTT, but I’m with you on Devon Sawa.

  2. I am DYING. Just DYING reading this 🙂 But you shouldn’t feel bad. ‘Cuz that’s an awesome story. And any time an awesome story can come of something like this, it’s worth it 🙂 And trusting people is good. Especially boys. Especially cute boys. Cuz cute boys never lie.

  3. Oh how funny! JTT was so cute, although I’m older than you so we were more into Sean Cassidy at that age. I can’t believe he didn’t mail you your gold chain back!

  4. This is amazing. Honestly, major props for putting this story on the interwebs. I definitely wrote to celebrities I had crushes on (many of whom will remain nameless because they weren’t cute age-appropriate celebrities but more like the ones who were old enough to be my dad), and I was ECSTATIC when their PR firms would send back the “note” and “autographed” photo. Like you, I truly believed that adored celebrity read my love letter and took the time to reply back. Luckily I wasn’t friends really with any boys in middle school so no one was around to play tricks on me.

    • Well I definitely have a thing for Steve Martin and he could almost be my grandpa, so I don’t think you are TOO weird.
      I am jealous of your note and autographed photo. Although I did write to Ann M. Martin one time (author of the Babysitter’s Club books), and she actually wrote me a letter back with a signed book!

  5. TOO FUNNY!!! I LOVED JTT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. you could change him.

  7. man oh man oh man. This made my morning. Thank you for making my Friday already better than it was. I was in love with Corey Haim sooo hard. All the Tiger Beats and Bop’s and everything. And also Ethan Hawke (of all people) (who also did NOT age well IMO). I also wrote a letter to Wil Wheaton (right????) and he sent me back a picture of himself and I almost died.
    Seriously that pic with the cats. Love it. You are amazing. JTT is an idiot.

    • Oh you are welcome. Corey Haim was never on my crush list, but Ethan sure was! My friend works in PR and got to hang with him for a day recently. She said he was super nice and cool.
      I totally did not know who Wil Wheaton was so I had to google. Maybe if I chose a lesser known actor he would have actually responded. Next time!

  8. I don’t comment on your blog often, but I do read every post and just thought I should say how much I enjoy them! You never fail to make me laugh (and also make me insanely jealous that you seem to have so much fun over there in Canada!) x

  9. Yeah, so this post ROCKS! totally made my afternoon!
    I was on the Johnathon Brandis bandwagon at that time.. 😉

  10. lol, oh Lorenzo….I too was extremely excited about the JTT phone call. I still remember you telling me about it and being just as duped as you were. That sprague boy will never be forgiven! Love the pic of Eric without his front teeth…how did that happen again?!?! haha

  11. This. Is. Awesome. One of my absolute favorites. I read it aloud to Manfriend and now I am going to print it off and keep it forever because it is too funny. Love!

  12. hahah you KILL me. ahhh he definitely did NOT age well. i say it is bad karma because he ditched out on home improvement to move onto better things which ended up being.. i dont know. remember him in the jungle movie? i cant even remember what its called now. but it was marvelous~

  13. This is the best story ever. I just discovered your blog today and will now be reading regularly.

    I too had my room papered in Tiger Beat and Big Bopper posters but was more into Jonathan Brandis, Mike Vitar (remember Sandlot?), and Devon Sawa while my sister was the JTT fan. We live in Calgary and he was here for a bit making a movie, probably Wild America (JTT AND Devon Sawa!!), and my sister was convinced she was going to meet him because it was widely reported he loved the fly fishing in the Bow River. Ha!

    My defining teen moment was meeting Jonathan Brandis at World of Wheels and getting a photo with him. I then sent said photo to Big Bopper along with a letter and they printed it in their fan section. I was the star of my jr. high for one whole day!

    • OMG, JTT AND Devon Sawa?! I would have died. And I would have legit stalked that movie set for days. With signs. I did it for Ray Romano and I didn’t even have a crush on him, so I can’t even imagine.

      I can’t believe you actually met Jonathan Brandis! Lucky, lucky girl.

  14. I was the EXACT same way. I think we were twins. I wrote him a couple of letters, so you were my competition. I was also a Brad Renfro lover!

  15. I totally would have fell for it too. Luckily, no one tricked me like that.
    I was more into Joey MacIntyre from NKOTB, I LOVED him. He too has not aged well. Just google him.
    I love how geeky you were! We would have been besties.

  16. Pingback: Some random search terms for ya | Happy or Hungry

  17. SO. SO. SO much to say here.
    I found your blog yesterday, and have been reading it as much as qualifies me as a non-crazy person.
    Your online dating drama got me HOOKED.
    With that, I felt the need to comment on this post, because I feel like with your whole vegetarian & fly fishing fibs, you could maybe relate to your creeptastic stalker…yes? Yeah…probably not.
    Or perhaps this is where he got the (terrible and tragic and just plain rude) idea.
    Anyway, I’m laughing so hard, kids can get away with this, and it’s adorable.
    Grown men. Notsomuch. Chris can suck it.
    And basically I’m commenting on two posts in one comment. So, yeah.

  18. I love your story except for the topanga thing, did’t find her pretty. Your article reminds me of my childhood where I’m super gaga over nick carter i even wrote him a letter. 4 times i guess. I also like JTT and devon sawa. nice story =D

  19. I’m sorry that happened to you! When I was in 7th grade I too had a crush on JTT. I thought I was in love with him, so I penned him a fan letter stating all the reasons he should come visit Minnesota (and well secretly I was hoping he’d visit me as well). I wrote that letter in my science notebook and stupidly forgot it in the classroom when the bell rang. Well the next group of kids that had that class found the notebook and then discovered my letter to JTT. I found out from another student that they were making fun of me, and even put the notebook up on the chalkboard ledge and left it open to the page with my fan letter so all the other classes could see. I was so embarrassed! Kids at that age can be mean.

  20. Pingback: Low Key Weekend feat. Baby Scarlett and Devon Sawa’s Butt | Happy or Hungry

  21. I read a lot of interesting articles here. Probably you
    spend a lot of time writing, i know how to save you a lot of work,
    there is an online tool that creates readable, SEO friendly posts in seconds, just search in google –
    laranitas free content source

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s