WE’RE ON A BOAT! (The Catamaran Adventure)

Our next Jamaican off-resort adventure was the catamaran trip!


And I am pretty sure this day was the highlight of my entire trip. It was soo much fun.

We all piled onto the bus from our resort and headed to Montego Bay, about a 45 minute drive. Our bus driver was hilarious. Jussssst hilaaarious. His name was Richard, so of course we called him Big Dick.


And we just loved him. He gave us a little tour on the way there, and told us stories, and pointed out landmarks to us. Big Dick was a fun time, and he told us about his two daughters and his house, and finally we were all “Big Dick, can we go to your house?!” But we had strangers on our bus from another resort and they did not think this was a good idea and said we should probably put that idea to a vote… (and they would have voted that idea down)

Obviously Big Dick was not allowed to take us to his house, but he thought this was very funny so it made him laugh hard, and that was our goal.

Anyway, eventually we ended up at the beach, where our boat the Sea Dreamer awaited us. Dawn was all ready with her captain’s hat.


And so was Mark.


They are a dream team.

When the crew was making announcements about boat safety and stuff, they mentioned that the bar was going to be closed until we were done snorkeling. We were outraged. Dawn immediately stormed over to the bar to complain, it was the first time I had seen her even remotely anxious about anything the entire trip. But the bartenders were all “We be jokin’, mon! The bar is always open here!” and poured us all a round of drinks. Yes Yes. We were all appeased (by the way, “Yeah mon” is not a stereotype. Everyone I met who lived in Jamaica said it at least three times a sentence. It replaced “Yes.”)

The crew of the Sea Dreamer was awesome, and of course we made friends…


That guy kept bringing us drinks so we liked him a lot.

At one point the crew had a little acrobatics competition, so that was pretty entertaining to watch.



We were on the boat sailing around for about an hour or so, drinking, talking, having a good time befriending our crew, and then we reached the reef where we would be snorkeling. So we put on our all gear and jumped into the turquoise water. Check out the pretty fishies!



And this is where we noticed the man who would become our very favourite crew member. Of all time. I cannot for the life of me remember his name (it could be Simon? I wanna say Simon), but he was amazing. He stayed with us the entire time, and he brought fun things up to the surface for us.

Like sea cucumbers!


I looooved the sea cucumber.


And he also brought us Emily’s nemesis, dun dun dunnnnnn…


The big bad sea urchin (though this one was not quite as scary as the ones on our resort…)


Actually I thought it was kind of cute… But yes, it was prickly. And it was suctioning itself to my hand! Such a weird sensation.

After our snorkel adventure with our new best friend whose name is possibly Simon, we docked at Margaritaville Part 2!



I like to include random people in my photos. They like it.

I thought Margaritaville was a one time deal, but apparently it is a chain. This is the Montego Bay Margaritaville. And it didn’t really have a beach, but it sure did have a slide!


QUITE the slide. We all took a turn on that thing.


I think that is Leanne making an appearance. That thing was crazy.

There were other water activities, like another crazy slippery water slide, and a water trampoline, so we hung out there for about an hour or so and did the water thangs until it was time to head back to the Sea Dreamer.

Upon our arrival back on the boat, Dawn convinced some man to let her wear his shirt.


We were dying. I want that shirt. I love that song!

And Simon (I’m just gonna call him Simon), decided that he wanted to give Emily a leg massage, because her legs must have been tired from our excursion.


Emily was all “Nooo, you don’t have to massage my legs!” but he was a persistent little minx, and he convinced her for about 10 minutes. So she caved.


I think he LIKED it! Look how happy he is!

And then he was just offering us all leg massages. Jenny was up next.


And while that was happening we chatted with him about his life and asked him what his favourite thing is about his job and how old he is, and how long he has been working on the boat. It was 20 questions for sure.

Then he offered me a leg massage, and I politely declined, but again, persistent. So I finally gave in and ohhhhh sweet baby Jesus and all things holy, it was the best leg massage I have ever had (I don’t think I have had very many though…) That man knew what he was doing. Probably massages all the ladies, all the time.

I thought Simon was just super nice and really liked giving leg massages, but when I walked back to the bar to get a drink I saw this:


And I died laughing. Leg massages for everyone!

And then I looked over to where the captain was, and Julie was driving the boat.


With the help of Captain Beardo!


And I died laughing again.

And then I broke out the glasses my parents got me for Christmas, for exactly this purpose.


They were a big hit. And I don’t know who that man is, but he also snuck in our group picture.


He is a surprise behind Jenny and Joanna.

Oh man how I loved the catamaran. When we got back to the beach it was dark, so we all made our way over to our bus yelling “Big Dick!” (so our bus diver could find us). And we all safely got on.

And then our friend Simon showed up!

We thought he was coming to say goodbye, but he was just bringing Dawn back to us because we had accidentally left her in the beach bathroom.

And Big Dick drove us back to our resort, and we sang the ENTIRE. TIME. We sang “I’ve Got Friends In Low Places”, and “Don’t Stop Believing”, and we sang the Canadian national anthem, and then because there were Americans on our bus and we didn’t want to leave them out we sang the American national anthem. And then we sang Ludicris “What’s Your Fantasy.” Basically every song we knew the words to, country songs, hip hop songs, rock songs, we sang them. At the top of our lungs. The entire drive. I will never, ever forget this. I don’t think Big Dick will either. He told us we were his favourite group that he had ever had. But maybe he says that to everyone, who knows. I’m going to pretend he doesn’t.

But I will just say…Best day!!!!! Best day ever!


18 responses to “WE’RE ON A BOAT! (The Catamaran Adventure)

  1. I just started reading your blog (found it through the sad unfortunate internet loser story…) and am loving your vacation posts! Jamaica is the most amazing place and reading your stories brings me ‘home’ 🙂

  2. I love your blog, thank you for sharing in such a fun way! You have me laughing every time I come read here.

  3. haha love it. I can tell how excited you were just reading this! Now I want to go back to Jamaica!!

  4. it seems like on almost any of my caribbean vacays the catamaran days are always the higlights! something about bein on a BOAT!!!!

  5. I feel like I need to go on vacation with you and your friends now. So much fun. I tried making my friends wear crazy glasses on NYE, but they were party poopers. Lame!

  6. That 5th pic down, it looks like your fake holding a cup because it meshes in with your bathing suit so well!
    Sounds like a lot of fun. Also, sea cucumbers look like big poops. Did not expect that.

  7. Haha love your recaps! I did not know the words to the American anthem… I believe we were humming the trumpet notes to it 🙂

  8. Like Andrea said up there… catamaran trips are always the best excursions! I think I’m going to be upset when the recaps are over lol

  9. Bahaha! I need to go there! It’s on the list now. 🙂

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