The Final Search Term Post?

So perhaps if you are not blog/internet savvy you may not have heard this, but I guess in September Google started to encrypt its search terms. So that bloggers and website owners will no longer be able to see what people are searching to land on their site. Privacy reasons, you know. While I am relieved that other people can’t see the random things I Google, I am a little sad because I really love looking at the weird things people search to end up on my blog.

Some are still sneaking through right now though, for some reason. I am not sure when they will stop so sadly this may be my last random search term post (I have done a few of these before).

So the bolded sentences below are what people have been searching on Google lately that has somehow landed them on my blog:

i’m starving but my thighs still touch

Oh boy…EAT SOMETHING. We have talked about this. The thigh gap is a stupid, unattainable “ideal.” We are built for eating and some thighs are just built for touching!

both of my thighs are dumb

I am sure your thighs are just lovely, and very…smart.

girl with big boobs running

I am not sure what to say about this. You came to the right place?!

heidi-run1

I did talk about this before

accidently put noodles in slow cooker for chicken noodle soup

You better get them outta there or you’re going to have a big noodley mess. I made this mistake before so I say this with first hand experience. Also, accidentally*

minx coon breed of cat

It is maine coon, but I understand the minx mixup, they are gorgeous beasts.

maine-coon

Hannah and I were admiring those minxy kitties at the cat show we went to.

guy online dating no photo owns business

No photo eh… I wouldn’t risk that, he probably doesn’t exist. Move on to the next!

my online guy stood me up

See above. Doesn’t exist. Next!

dating a man who doesn’t exist

Well, I guess it’s good you realize that he doesn’t exist… Next next next!

how much wind on lake scugog

Enough to blow you across the lake.

Skaters3

And it will be really awesome. But a lot less awesome when the wind does not allow you to get back across the lake and you have to knock on a strangers door and use their phone to call your dad to pick you up.

how do you make a life jacket diaper

Just put your legs through the arm holes, buckle up as normal (but upside down), and you got it!

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Life jacket diapers are a good time.

squirrel love

Aww, squirrel love!!!

squirrels1

I forgot about those squirrel lovers! I hope they lived happily ever after.

my boyfriend keeps calling me mom

Well that is kind of a weird problem. I am not sure how this led to my blog or what advice I should give here… Maybe start calling him Dad and see how he likes it.

time it takes to get down a hill tubing at lakeridge

Probably less than 30 seconds. But it is less than 30 seconds of good times.

in the rosie project what does don tillman eat for dinner on fridays

I can’t remember, but I think it might be lobster.

money making games for jack and jills

Oh the Tooney Toss is a money maker FOR SURE.

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People go crazy for the tooney toss!

my boss called me princess

When I read this I got a bit of a creepy vibe. But my previous boss called me princess and it was funny and turned into a huge office inside joke.

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So I’m sure it’s fine.

can you take your own ice chest of beer to sombrero fest

Oh for sure, do it!!! I would! Sombrero fest?! I don’t see how you can show up to that without a cooler full of beer. You’ll make instant friends. There should be no hesitation here.

sad people eating

Awww, sad 😦

what is a bucket party

A bucket party is when you bring a bucket to a party and you fill it with the drink of your choice.

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Or you can take it to the next level like my friend Sherrie and bring your bucket to the bar.

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Good times.

toads mcgoads

It’s totes mcgoats. Or possibly totes magoats. Pretty sure it originated from Paul Rudd in I Love You Man.

it looks like i have a unibrow with my glasses

Welp, that is unfortunate. Unibrows are pretty cool though. Embrace it!

how to draw hungry face

Draw someone very, very angry.

Print

There ya go.

how i love this time of the year when cupcakes and terry’s orange chocolate pass as breakfast. but who am i kidding, that’s most days for me.

That’s quite a long phrase to google. Thanks for writing my blog for me.

how do i become internet famous

Well I will tell you and I will tell you this for free. Piggyback your groomsman into a wedding. Make sure it’s being videotaped. Fall spectacularly. Show your fluorescent pink underwear.

internet-famous

Apparently that’s all it takes.

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2 responses to “The Final Search Term Post?

  1. Bahahaha love it! Sombrero fest sounds like a dream!

  2. Haha you are hilarious! I will miss your search terms. No one ever searches anything clever on my blog.

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